Our RPTU story

Studying with depression: bringing mental health more into the mainstream of society

[Translate to English:] Isabel Neumaier, Mathematikstudentin

Isabel Neumaier always knew that she wanted to study mathematics. After visiting the Kaiserslautern campus, she knew that this was exactly what she wanted to do at RPTU. But then COVID-19 hit—and everything changed. In addition to starting her studies, Isabel found herself in another situation she had never experienced before: living with severe depression. Thanks to the right support, both privately and from RPTU, she is doing well today. But the road to recovery was long and arduous, as she tells us here.

"Depression has been with me for a long time. When I started my bachelor's degree in mathematics in 2019 and COVID-19 hit, that was the decisive trigger. The sudden isolation caused my mental health to really go downhill. I noticed that I had no motivation anymore. Even getting up in the morning became a problem. Depression had never manifested itself in this way before and had never affected me so severely. You start to ask yourself: What's wrong with me?

To be honest, the new stress of everyday student life and failing an exam right at the beginning of my studies didn't exactly help me get out of my depressive thoughts. Instead, I kept asking myself: ‘Is this the right choice for me?’, ‘Should I have done something else?’, ‘Am I good enough?’"

Thoughts of failure

"Eventually, my parents also noticed that I had changed. I told them how I was feeling. Together, we went to see our family doctor, who referred me to a psychotherapist. I started therapy in November 2020. During the 2020/2021 winter semester, I tried to continue my studies. But I quickly realized that nothing was working anymore. I had to drop out of the semester. This was followed by a semester off in the summer semester of 2021.

Depression and mental illness are curable, but it's a long process, my therapist told me—in my case, it could take about three to five years. I had a session with him once a week. There was a lot to work through. I was given appropriate medication and learned methods I could use to respond in certain situations when I noticed that I was feeling worse again. Step by step, I found my way back to a regular daily routine with appropriate habits. Only then did we tackle the issue of my studies.

At first, just thinking about studying mathematics often sent me spiraling back into feelings of uncertainty and memories of failure. Of course, failing exams is nothing unusual among students. But depression simply amplifies negative feelings. My head was filled with questions: “What will I do if I fail again?” 'What if I fail again?' After COVID-19, face-to-face classes resumed. I tried twice to resume my studies after my semester off—without success. I wasn't mentally ready yet. It wasn't until my third attempt at reintegration that it worked out."

Back to studying—with support from the Department of Mathematics

"The reintegration worked because I knew I would receive support from the mathematics department. I spoke openly with my department about my mental illness. Together, we developed timetables tailored specifically to my situation and determined the optimal pace of study for me. After all, we all wanted me to continue my studies and not drop out. At the same time, they didn't treat me with kid gloves, but treated me like a ‘normal’ student as far as possible. I liked that because I didn't want special treatment. But when my depression became more severe again and I informed them, they were understanding and considerate. As a result, I slowly began to enjoy mathematics again and am now able to structure my studies quite well on my own. My contacts in the department continue to support me, and I feel well taken care of.

The mathematics department at RPTU is small, which is definitely an advantage for the personal support I have experienced. Lecturers and professors take time for their students. I particularly like the family atmosphere at the university. You realize that you are not just a student number and that you are not alone when you have problems. Especially at the beginning of your studies, you receive very close support."

Studying with depression: First aid for mental illness with MFHA

"Looking back, I can give all those affected the following advice: Don't be afraid to face what is going on inside you. Find someone you can confide in. It's best to seek out people who are trained in this area and can help you get the right support. At RPTU, the best first point of contact is the Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) representatives.

At MHFA, students and employees have received appropriate training and are available as first responders to help you out of your spiral of thoughts. This is because, over several days of training, they learn about a wide variety of mental illnesses, how best to respond to them, and how to behave in critical crisis situations. They also learn how to behave when there is no acute crisis. The training concludes with an oral exam in which participants are given a case study that they must solve. I completed my MHFA first responder training in 2023 and have been the contact person in my department ever since. After my long and arduous journey out of depression, I want to give meaning to my own experiences. I want to show those affected that they are not alone in their situation and that they can talk to someone who understands them—because they have been through it themselves.

Those affected are welcome to come to us MHFA first responders. We listen to what's on their minds and provide support where they need help. This may simply be the case, for example, if they don't dare to see a therapist or if they don't know where to start. Then we can support them and pave the way for professional therapy."

Looking ahead

"It took me 12 semesters to complete my bachelor's degree, and I'm now studying for my master's. I'm still in therapy, but not nearly as regularly as before, only when I need it. I'm doing well today. Depression teaches you to enjoy every day that you don't have depressive thoughts. It was a long process to learn that. But I now look positively to the future because I know that I get so much support at home and here at university."

 

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Are you looking for help?

If you are experiencing difficulties and require support, please do not hesitate to contact the MHFA mental health first responders.

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In Kaiserslautern:

[Translate to English:] Isabel Neumaier, Mathematikstudentin