Our RPTU story

Studying with depression: Moving mental health more into the center of society

Isabel Neumaier, mathematics student

Isabel Neumaier always knew that she wanted to study mathematics. After a visit to the Kaiserslautern campus, it was clear to her that this was exactly what she wanted to do at RPTU. But then came corona - and everything changed: in addition to starting her studies, Isabel experienced another situation that was previously unknown to her - everyday life with severe depression. Thanks to the right support, both privately and at RPTU, she is doing well today. But the road out of the illness was long and arduous, as she tells us here.

"Depression has been with me for a long time. When I started the Bachelor's degree course in Mathematics in 2019 and Corona came along, that was the decisive trigger. Due to the sudden isolation, my mental health really went downhill. I realized that I no longer had any drive. Even getting up in the morning became a problem. The depression had never shown itself in this form before and had never affected me so badly. It makes you wonder: what's wrong with me?

To be honest, the new stress of everyday life at university and a failed exam right at the start of my studies didn't exactly help to get me out of my depressive thoughts. Instead, I kept asking myself: 'Is studying the right choice for me?' 'Should I have done something else?' 'Am I good enough?"

Thoughts of failure

"Eventually, my parents also noticed that I had changed. I told them how I was feeling. We then went to the GP together, who referred me to a psychotherapist. I then started my therapy in November 2020. In the 2020/2021 winter semester, I tried to continue studying. But I quickly realized that nothing was working anymore. I had to drop out of the semester. Followed by a semester off in the summer semester of 2021.

Depression and mental illness can be cured, but it's a long process, my therapist told me - in my case, it could take around three to five years. I had a session with him once a week. There was a lot to work through. I was given appropriate medication and learned methods that I can use to react in certain situations when I notice that I'm getting worse again. Step by step, I found my way back into a regular daily routine. Only then did we tackle the subject of studying.

In the beginning, I often fell back into this mental spiral of insecurity and memories of failure just thinking about studying mathematics. Of course, failing exams is nothing unusual among students. But depression simply makes negative feelings much more pronounced. I had a lot of questions running through my head: 'What will I do if I fail again?' 'What if I fail again? After corona, the face-to-face events returned. I tried twice to resume my studies after the semester off - without success. I wasn't mentally ready after all. It wasn't until the third reintegration attempt that it worked."

Back to studying - with support from the mathematics department

"The reintegration also worked because I knew that I would get support from the Department of Mathematics. I spoke openly with my department about my mental illness. Together, we worked out timetables tailored specifically to my situation and determined the best pace of study for me. Because we all wanted me to continue my studies and not drop out. At the same time, they didn't treat me with kid gloves, but treated me - as far as possible - like a 'normal' student. I thought that was good, because I didn't want any special treatment. But when the depression became more present again and I informed them about it, they were understanding and considerate. As a result, I slowly started to enjoy mathematics again and I can now structure my studies quite well myself. My contacts in the department continue to support me and I feel that I am in good hands.

The mathematics department at RPTU is small, which is definitely an advantage for the personal support I received. Lecturers and professors take time for their students. I particularly like the family atmosphere at the university. You realize that you're not just a student number and that you're really not alone if you have problems. You get very close support, especially at the beginning of your studies."

Studying with depression: first aid for mental illness with MFHA

"Looking back, I can give advice to all those affected: Don't be afraid to face what's going on inside you right now. Find someone you can confide in. It's best to get in touch with people who are trained and can help you get the right help. At RPTU, the best initial contact is via the Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) contact persons.

At MHFA, students and employees have received appropriate training and are available as first aiders to help you out of your mental spiral. Over the course of several training days, they learn about various mental illnesses, how they can best respond to them and how to behave in critical crisis situations. And also how they should behave when there is no acute crisis. The training concludes with an oral examination in which the participants are given a case study that they have to solve accordingly. I completed my training as an MHFA first aider in 2023 and have been a contact person in my department ever since. After my long and arduous journey out of depression, I want to give meaning to my own experiences. I want to show those affected that they are not alone in their situation and that they can talk to someone who understands them - because they have experienced it themselves.

Those affected are therefore welcome to approach us MHFA first aiders. We listen to what is on their mind and provide support where they need it. This may simply be the case, for example, if they don't have the confidence to see a therapist or if they don't know where to start. We can then support them and pave the way to professional therapy."

Looking ahead

"It ultimately took me 12 semesters to complete my Bachelor's degree and I'm now in the Master's program. I'm still in therapy, but nowhere near as regularly, only when needed. I'm doing well today. Depression teaches you to enjoy every day when you don't have depressive thoughts. It was a long process to learn that. But I'm now positive about the future because I know that I get so much support at home and also here at the university."

 

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Are you looking for help?

If you have problems and need support, don't hesitate to get in touch with the MHFA mental health first aiders.

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Isabel Neumaier, mathematics student